Jillian

I know you're still out there.

I don't know if you've seen or heard about this mess, but I think most of you will agree with me that it's all pretty ridiculous. If you want to pitch in with some of the efforts to fight against it, you can join innocence_jihad for more information.

A lot of us, however, are incredibly busy these days. So all I really ask is that you do this:

Go to fandom_counts and join (almost 20,000 people have joined in the last twelve hours). That's it. No obligation, no need to do anything else (though please do if you like), nothing. Just a statement that, "Yes, I'm here, and I'm a member of fandom." Any fandom. We can at least give them an idea of what they're up against.

The story's already been Dugg, Farked, and posted on BoingBoing. This is going to be huge, folks, and it's all completely uncalled for.

Do a little, do a lot...just do something.

For all you RPGers out there, I have a question.

I'm looking for a new game to play, preferably community-based (forums of some sort), where I can take one of my original characters and immerse her in a new setting. It's not strictly necessary, but something with at least some element of fantasy is ideal. I'm not averse to one-on-one RP by IM or whatever, but I don't want to be in -just- that kind of situation. My work/personal schedule is such that I'd rather not leave someone hanging if I need to disappear for a while.

Any thoughts/ideas/suggestions/whatever?

Thanks muchly! *heart*

>_>

Random, yes. But there's a purpose to the madness!

Anyone know of any apartments here in town that will be opening up early or mid-May, either one or two bedrooms, pets (cat) okay? I'm starting to dread looking in the papers every day and if anyone has any leads, I'd be insanely in debt to you forever. I'm looking to go a little above or below five hundred a month without utilities--more, of course, if they're all or partially included. Furnished or unfurnished is fine. Thanks, guys!

Just wanted y'all to know that, incredibly, I am still alive. ;)

That is all. :)

I just sent out the mass email for all of you who wanted the URL to my new blog. If I didn't get you or if you still want to be informed, please comment here and I'll try something that won't set off your spam filters or whatnot. :) See you there!

Ah, Mary, how I love thee...

Never in my life have I more wanted to listen to Mary Prankster. Thank you, Toby, for getting me interested and thank you Ed for bringing her to me. This is exactly what I needed. ^_^

Anyway, as to what I was talking about earlier--my paid account is expiring very shortly, and I'm going to be relocating to a blog on a secure server where I can mess with CSS as much as I like, for free! At any rate, anyone who would like the URL to the new blog, please post here with your email address so I can send you the link as soon as I get settled in there. :)

Now, for the rest of my entry, I suppose.

I dunno, not a whole lot to say...grandparents' was boring and my hands hurt like hell from mowing the yard earlier. I can't wait to get back to school and started on my new job. Woohoo. Today was...interesting, but nothing I'm going to write about, at least not right now. Made some progress on coloring the DPD from Wednesday, though I'll never be anything like the goddess merekat.

I guess that's about it--post if you want to be sent the link to the new blog; if you already replied to the other entry with your address, I don't need it again. Thanks a bunch guys! :)

just wow. Some people never fail to amaze me.

Expect some decent-sized changes around here pretty soon, as well as something I've been planning for a while. I'll discuss more when I have some more time. But right now I need to clean up and get ready to go to my grandparents. Suck.

Amusing, very amusing...




Jolly good, wot! Anyone for tennis? That'll be ten ponies, guv. You're the epitome of everything that is english. Yey :) Hoist that Union Jack!

How British are you?

this quiz was made by alanna

w00t ;)

and....





Which flock do you follow?

this quiz was made by alanna

bwaha...*giggle*

So shleepy. Going to bed early tonight, methinks. :B But go take the quizzes, they're fun! ;)

I just quit at Tears, I've simply had enough of all the drama.

Rena and BK and their little ego-battles with everyone started pushing me away a few months ago, and I just don't feel like dealing with it anymore.

Rena, I do NOT hate you. I try not to hate anyone. I don't necessarily agree with the things you do or say, but that in itself is no reason to hate. Feel about me as you may.

Evan was not and has never been given priveledges at the board because of his status with me. I carefully discussed these kinds of things with other administrators and made sure they were in agreement with me when he was given his modship. So believe what you want, I don't care any more.

I have been an unnecessary member of staff at Tears for several months now. When the board was in its prime and we faced a few minor crises, I did what I could. However, things have calmed to the point that the board is almost dead and the other four admins (or is it three, I don't remember) should be able to handle fifteen active posters.

Whether I will post after this I haven't decided yet; I'd like to, but God only knows what hostility I might meet if/when I return. I guess some things can't last forever, and my two years are up. Thanks for all the good times.

I have a couple new pics :P

The First One

The Second One

Ok, enough randomness from me. Teehee.

...Sirius?

http://www.mugglenet.com/images/oldmanincostume.jpg

Hippie!Sirius? That's a new one... Hope he takes the glasses off for the movie...:P

On a happier note...ALAN! *glomp* Teehee.

Ah, boredom. Got up at 8:30 in case Evan came on, but looks like he's not going to make it today. That happens, I suppose. *shrug* Maybe I'll catch him tomorrow. It's only been 19 hours since he left, but I already miss him like crazy. Sigh. *huggles teddy bear*

Actually, scratch the 'looks like he's not going to make it'--he just signed on. Whee. ;)

This weekend was....weird. Not bad, but Mom and Dad were gone practially all weekend. @_@ It was nice to have so much time alone with Evan (which I'm sure they didn't plan, after what happened last time Evan was here) but we would have liked to go out Saturday, and as they were gone until like 8pm, we didn't get to the mall until it was getting ready to close. Oy. We did manage to get to Subway, but had to eat in the car as it was closing too, and we wanted to go into Wal-Mart, which is right next to the Subway in this case. Still had a good time, overall, though I think Evan could have managed without sitting though the Into the Woods DVD. ;) It does seem a lot longer on video than it did live. :B It was really really nice to have him here, though, as I don't know if I could have made it another two weeks to Morgantown without seeing him again. I'm glad we've made it through the summer so well; Vince has been especially supportive. I think I could be a "daddy's girl" very easily. ;) Last night they went to the grocery store before they got back from golf, and he got swiss cake rolls and caramel peanut Klondike bars because he "thought I might be sad" :B I wasn't sad, a wee bit lonely maybe (as I was here by myself for seven hours or something before they got home but after Evan left), but it was a very sweet sentiment. *grin* And, Evan left me one of his tshirts, so I cuddled up on the bed alone but happy last night, though missing the goodnight kiss I was starting to get used to. And I certainly wouldn't have minded falling asleep in his arms instead of alone, but alas. Someday, someday. I think the parents are starting to the get the picture as far as our relationship goes; our plans, our hopes, our extreme desire to be married to each other, etc etc etc. Which is a good thing ^__^

So, yeah...Evan and I being all fuzzy, cuddly, and lovey-dovey is about the extent of events this weekend. Not that I'm complaining. ;) But, at least for now, I'm not going to go into "those" details. Let's suffice it to say it was very nice and very romantic. I do love that boy, so much. :)

Incidentally, plans with Troy and Jeannette fell through for this weekend, as they most usually do when we make them that far in advance. :B Sadly, though, we had to cancel because Troy ended up going to VA to see his (probably now ex-) fiancee to have what was probably a thorougly painful discussion. They're calling the engagement off, or at least that was what was going to happen as of last Thursday. It would be great if they could have managed to work things out, but somehow I think that's the least likely outcome. Haven't talked to Troy yet, though. Maybe today, I suppose.

Ah, well. I'm going to go, not much else to say at the moment. Later, all. :)

Here's how it's going so far...

Get dishes out of room, also anything else that belongs downstairs should go downstairs. - not done yet

Do laundry. Lots and lots of laundry. Sheets first, as well as anything that can be washed with them, then jeans and etc. - yes, laundry done, must get last load out of dryer in morning

Try to figure out where to put everything in room--maybe start packing some - kind of, but have abandoned packing effort

Take out garbage from room and bathroom - yes, and yes

Clean bathroom - in the morning

Put videos and anything else related that will fit into video cabinet. It's there for a reason. - getting there, yes

Fold laundry and put into closet, also hang up dress clothes/pretty clothes and hang, either in closet or other room's closet (prefer my closet.) - done

Put dirty laundry into old laundry bag, clean laundry into new. - opposite, but done

Find something to put knitting supplies into - they're staying in Wal-Mart bags for the moment

Figure out what to wear on Saturday and set out--probably stretchy jeans and pink top? Pink top looks nice. So does white, but will probably be too warm that day. - Saturday's event isn't happening now, for many various and complicated reasons, so no need to fuss over this one. Must find new plans for Saturday now, though.

Clear out junk on other side of bed, consider putting out rug. - Decided to stash even more stuff on other side of bed instead, as am running out of room. Set rug up in corner to be dealt with later

Vacuum room! - gotta do last

Get plushies arranged more reasonably - eh, they're back where they're supposed to be, anyway

Get phone back in here. -yes

Shower, wash hair, shave, etc. - yes.

Progress: 11/15, or thereabouts. Not bad. Still have a few things to take care of, as well as a nice rambly entry about some other things that have been on my mind lately. But no time for now, they may get postponed until after Evan leaves on Sunday. Bedtime for me now, though, as it's way later than I wanted to go to bed, anyway. :B

To do list and some musings

( To DO! )

Ok, now that I've got that done...onto the heart of the entry.

Today was...odd. Mom showed up at around 11am, thank goodness I wasn't doing anything she wouldn't have approved of at the time. She decided to try to nap so I came back up here and got online. Talked to Troy and confirmed our plans for Saturday, hopefully Jeannette will be on when I get online in an hour and a half. Mom decided she couldn't sleep, so we went out looking for a dresser for their room with no luck. Decided to go to Wal-Mart and get some stuff we needed, groceries, etc. By the time we were done it was time to get Vince from work. Came home, tried to plan for dinner, when he got called back to work. So mom and I hung out for a while, not doing much of anything really. Had a very odd talk about love, sex, etc. Kind of creeped out because while I'm not supposed to understand what she was talking about as I'm not supposed to have had sex yet, I completely do understand what she said.

She was talking about a man that she was heavily involved with about ten years ago, and how she loved him. She said that one time when they were...er, intimate, something happened that she recognized, but it scared him. She said that it was a spiritual experience, something she couldn't really describe. Of course, I had to play dumb, but in all reality, I know exactly what she was talking about it. I referenced it in an earlier entry, a long time ago now. Anyway, she was saying how hurt she was when he left, totally miserable, felt like he'd cut out her heart, run it over, threw it away, etc. I do remember how miserable she was back then. The thing that scares me a little is that I know for a fact that if anything ever happened with Evan (God forbid), that's how I'd feel. But for her, it was merely evidence that I shouldn't have sex with him, because she doesn't want me to ever feel this way. She even said that she doesn't feel the same way about Vince as she did about the former guy. She said she didn't want to feel like that about him, she was never going to let that happen to her again. I know she loves Vince, but I have never felt it was quite "right," according to my expectations for a relationship, and from henceforth I'm going to stop likening or comparing their relationship to ours. I could never love halfway. She seems to be as selfish in love as she is in life. But that's her life, not mine, and another rant completely.

Now, I've always been a believer in the idea that you never love two people the same way, you cannot love two people the same way, and this supports that. But I just can't allow myself to see the risk of possible heartbreak as an excuse for never allowing yourself to be fully, truly in love, immersed and spiritually tied to another human being. I think that's one of the beautiful benefits of human life, and I could never deny myself that. No greatness is gained without at least some risk, and I think it's worth it to experience something this wonderful. The fact that the guy, who was older than her, was scared by the connection they felt that night, is somewhat helpful to me, because I know that when it happened for Evan and I that we both embraced it fully and were happy about it, exhilarated that we had connected on another, deeper level. I also truly believe and trust that Evan loves me and would never hurt me, as I know I would never hurt him because of my love for him. I think here lies the difference in her relationship and mine--while she was the only one feeling that way in that relationship, I don't think that it's just me, I don't think it could possibly be just me. Which leads me to the conclusion that Evan and I must truly be destined for each other--if we can both generate the happiness and love and completely live for our life together, then we're on the right path.

This song really fits my view on love, so I'm throwing it in here. It's one of "our" songs, and it's from "our" movie. Yes, I'm a Bohemian, what can I say? ;)

Come What May - Moulin Rouge

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more

Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you
Until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you

And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collapse
But I love you (I love you)
Until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day

Oh, come what may
Come what may
I will love you (I will love you)- suddenly the world seems like such a perfect place

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day

I'd really like to hear some opinions about this subject from you guys, whether married, single, taken, long-time partnership, whatever--do you think it's worth it to love wholly, and lose, and hurt, or would you rather only love someone halfway, never allowing yourself to become so close that if they left, you could go on without feeling devastated? Is it right to not love someone with all your heart, mind, and soul when they are promised to be your eternal partner? If you aren't in love enough to be hurt by their unfortunate departure, are you really in love? The difference between loving and being in love? I'm secure in my relationship and love for the most wonderful man in my life, but I'm still curious and pondering these ideas. Agree with me? Disagree? Let me know! :) Comments on these questions, as well as ideas/thoughts/responses are muchly appreciated. Thanks. :) Some food for thought, I suppose.

Hello there, world...

Yes, I know--I've been completely and utterly absent from AIM for quite a while now, and haven't shown myself much in other ways, as well, these past couple of weeks. Some of it has to do with the fact that my parents, either one of them or both, have been home every day for the past week, which severely limits my internet access. Another part of it has to do with the fact that when I did get an opportunity to be online for any given period of time, I was either too tired to deal with conversations--I would have been fairly unresponsive anyway--or I didn't really feel it was worth signing on because I knew I'd probably only be on for a period of a few minutes. I didn't want anyone to think I was avoiding them, so I figured if I was just gone it wouldn't be such a big deal. The last part of it is just my latent antisocialness taking over. The longer I stayed away, the easier it was to continue staying away. I think I will be back on AIM in the next couple of days, definitely. At least I hope so. Email and comments are other good ways to get ahold of me if you do need to talk to me, I have been reading and checking even if I haven't been chatting much.

A lot of things have been going on too, emotionally and just in life in general. One of my very best friends is facing what could be the end of his engagement, but it'll be at least a couple of weeks before we really even have a clue as to what's going on. I'm starting to try to rekindle an old friendship which I've always held very dear to me--we just kind of grew apart as the years passed and I'll admit, I'm excited to give it another shot. The catch is that it's actually an ex of mine, but someone with whom I was friends with before we were a couple and friends with after as well, to an extent. He was my first real love, I suppose, and even when we broke up I swore that I would still keep a special place for our friendship in my heart--and I still care about him, just like I knew I always would. I'll be happy to have him back in my life because we shared a lot--and one can never have too many friends, ya know! I've talked to Evan about it just to make sure he's comfortable with it, but all seems decidedly well on that front. :)

I do miss him though--it's been a couple of weeks and my heart's finally starting to ache from not having him by my side. The fact that I found two of his shirts left over from his last visit help a little--his scent is calming and soothing. I am definitely ready to be back in Morgantown with him though; we have a lot of good prospects for the new school year, financially, socially, and sexually. :P Maybe the hunt for that perfect someone will come to an end? Who knows. :B As long as I have fun doing it, what do I care? ;) Hehe. I really am quite surprised at both of us these days, it seems that we get braver and braver with every passing semester. If you knew what happened between us tonight....*evil grin* But for once, I'm not telling. ;)

What else? The whole reunion came about because Jeannette and I went to go see a local production of 'Into the Woods' last night. Firstly, if you've never heard it, saw it, whatever, go buy a cast album or the video right now. And get one for me too, while you're at it. ;) I'm desperately trying to d/l the songs off of Kazaa, but it's slow going with dial-up. I'll be buying the CDs at first and probably the video too once I get the money. At any rate, J (as he will be known until I get express permission to use his real name--and no, it doesn't narrow things too much as far as ex-boyfriends go since they all had names that started with J :P And hi, if you're reading, incidentally ^_~) was developing into a promising young singer when I pushed him along the musical theatre path way back in eighth grade. :B When another mutual friend told Jeannette and I that he was going to be in the show, it had my interest. I'd always wanted to see the show anyway, since I'm not familiar with Sondheim and because J had sung a few songs from it back in high school. Needless to say despite a few opening-night hitches I thought it was pretty damn good. The girl who played the witch especially so, but all the cast was excellent. :)

Mmm. I'm staring out my window at the almost-full moon right now--it's so beautiful. The moon that I know Evan was looking up at an hour ago. Mmm. :)

My ramblings are getting more nonsensical by the minute, I suppose I should post this and head on to bed. I'll detail the sleepover at Jeannette's after the show tomorrow. :P

I'll be back to my normal online routines soon, methinks. :)

I was definitely lagging on AIM tonight. Though being connected at 4800bps will do that to you, I imagine...let me never complain about 56k ever again. ;)

WEIRDFNGRS (8:49:37 PM): i don't really mind the rest of the house, but i figure that my room should be as messy as it feels it needs to be
kidojill (8:50:17 PM): lol
kidojill (8:50:30 PM): well, I don't know if mom would fuss at me if I let it get too messy or not
kidojill (8:50:38 PM): she might have given up on that a long time ago ;-)
WEIRDFNGRS (8:50:50 PM): i would have had it done in time too except i had a little trouble stickingit all in my closet and getting it to shut
kidojill (8:51:33 PM): lol!
kidojill (8:51:39 PM): at least you have a closet to stuff into
WEIRDFNGRS (8:51:49 PM): i don't think they would care too much if they didn't have to occasionally use my tv
kidojill (8:51:56 PM): mine's entirely lined with shelves, which have lots and lots of clothes packed onto them
kidojill (8:51:57 PM): heh
WEIRDFNGRS (8:52:13 PM): which is usually when i want to use the ps2 so i can't begrudge them the use of it
WEIRDFNGRS (8:52:20 PM): no closet?
kidojill (8:52:23 PM): well
kidojill (8:52:26 PM): there's a closet
kidojill (8:52:29 PM): but it's pretty tiny
kidojill (8:52:37 PM): and like I said, shelves that are already full of stuff
kidojill (8:52:59 PM): if I had my real bedroom furniture (still at my aunt's) I wouldn't have enough room for everything, maybe...
WEIRDFNGRS (8:53:04 PM): ah, how is your new house apart from freaky phone line and beshelved closet?
kidojill (8:53:11 PM): lol
kidojill (8:53:12 PM): old :P
kidojill (8:53:16 PM): and kinda sucky, but it's a house ;-)
kidojill (8:53:30 PM): it's not perfect or anywhere near, but it's ok :-)
kidojill (8:55:00 PM): and hot at the moment, for that matter
kidojill (8:55:08 PM): but I suppose I should get used to the no AC anyway :B
Jeannette (8:55:41 PM): old houses are okay, unless it's old like my house (70s old) which meant really ugly puke green carpets, which they used to cover really nice wooden floors, people have no taste
kidojill (8:55:53 PM): lol!
kidojill (8:56:00 PM): it's about 1920s old
Jeannette (8:56:07 PM): sob - trying not to remember dadisman's lack of AC
kidojill (8:56:19 PM): and carpet over wood floors probably, but the floors are likely in awful shape so it's ok :B
Jeannette (8:56:29 PM): sigh - i'm going to melt
kidojill (8:56:41 PM): I'll probably be ok, actually
kidojill (8:56:51 PM): I deal with the heat better than you do, anyway :P
kidojill (8:58:24 PM): once it gets to be around 1am or so in here it's decent
kidojill (8:58:30 PM): I have a ceiling fan at least
kidojill (8:58:35 PM): and I have one window open
Jeannette (8:58:38 PM): true, i did discover that being sunburned screwed up whatever temperature controls i have that let me be fine
kidojill (8:58:50 PM): lol
kidojill (8:58:56 PM): I hate sunburn..
Jeannette (8:59:08 PM): it was like 77 degrees and i was freezing
kidojill (8:59:13 PM): @_@
kidojill (8:59:14 PM): yikes.
Jeannette (8:59:24 PM): that's good
kidojill (8:59:36 PM): o_o
kidojill (8:59:41 PM): I must be majorly lagging...
kidojill (8:59:43 PM): hehe
Jeannette (9:00:08 PM): ah, I miss being able to open a window
Jeannette (9:00:08 PM): it was very strange
Jeannette (9:00:31 PM): it mostly hit my nose and shoulders
kidojill (9:00:38 PM): heh
kidojill (9:00:40 PM): blisters?
Jeannette (9:00:44 PM): this must have been a very strange conversation then
kidojill (9:00:52 PM): exceptionally so.
Jeannette (9:01:27 PM): let me know when you get this
kidojill (9:01:43 PM): I got it
kidojill (9:01:51 PM): though it may take you a minute to get it :P
Jeannette (9:01:58 PM): nah, just a little reddish
Jeannette (9:02:10 PM): i look like i went very heavy on the blush
kidojill (9:02:13 PM): lol
Jeannette (9:02:45 PM): i got that you got it

Yaaa....

Too fookin' good not to post...

Happy Deathday!
Your name:	kidogirl
You will die on:	Tuesday, October 29, 2024
You will die of:	Deleted from the Matrix
Username:
Created by Quill

My only complaint? Only 21 more years?!? Damn...I'll only be 40 X_X Happy birthday to mee anyway! ;)

Thanks to everyone who wished me happy birthday today--I'm surprised anyone remembered! Love you guys! ^__^

I don't really have much else to say, unfortunately. Not up to much of anything except reading Harry Potter, which I'm not talking about 'cause a lot of you haven't read it yet. ^_~ More later ^___^

EDIT: here's another one, just for the hell of it :P

( Clicky clicky... )

I'm having a birthday party on Saturday. It's going to be me, Evan, Jeannette, Troy, and my parents. Anyone have any ideas of things we can do? :P *hasn't planned a party in a billion years* :B

A real entry later...I promise :P

take the "Which Funkified Anime Internet Emoticon Are You Quiz" @ undead friday.

I think the 'straight' part needs amended :P

kidogirl Magic Number 16 Job Serial Killer Personality Vicarious Temperament Angry - At Everthing Sexual Straight Likely To Win The World Cup Me - In A Word Unique Colour Brought to you by MemeJack